Casa Grande Rage

The Secret Lives of Yuppies

This is a bizarre example of the yuppie phenomenon of depicting your family with strange avatars on the back on a vehicle. I took this photo myself on the freeway here in the Phoenix area.

First of all, turtles? Why turtles? Is this a family of marine life conservationists? Second, two of the turtles have no hearts. Does this mean that the people they represent are dead? Could they have been killed by Japanese whalers on a Greenpeace mission? What else could it mean? Might they just be emotionally shut down? Either way, it's really creepy. I think I'd rather see Calvin relieving himself on stuff.

Rise and Shout!

I saw this advertisement on Facebook. It's a kids potty that plays the BYU fight song. This is particularly funny given that the most recognizable lyric from the BYU fight song is "Rise and Shout the Cougars are out!"

Attention BYU alumni, next time you finish up on the toilet, stand and announce to the world, "Rise and Shout the Cougars are out!"

Taylor Swift - Lying or Confused

So I'm not really that into Country Music, except I do enjoy learning which bad guy Toby Keith intends to insert his footwear into on his next album. But I have been enjoying Taylor Swift's album Fearless. I was listening to it the other day, and I discovered a few incongruities. I'll talk about one of them here.

These two songs are found at the end of the album. In the first song, "The Way I Love You," young Taylor goes on about some guy she's currently dating who is perfect on paper. He gets along with her parents, he always treats her well, he doesn't end a multi-year relationship with her in a one minute phone call. But she's not content, because she misses the chaos of a previous relationship that was characterized by screaming, anger, etc.

That's fine and all. Some people are legitimately attracted to chaos in their lives. Here's the rub. The second song on the album, "The Best Day," is a loving tribute to Swift's father. The song explains how he was the best dad in the whole world - a kind man who always took time for his children.

I got news for you Tay-Tay. By and large, women who had the kind of father that you're describing typically aren't attracted to the kind of chaotic relationships that you're describing. She supposedly wrote both songs. What gives Taylor? Are you lying or confused.

And by the way, these jokers aren't exactly a couple of bad boys.

Who is this song really about anyway?

New Blog Title

When I started this blog back in 2004, I had a burning BYU issue that I wanted to sound off on, something about Hugh Nibley's kid being a nutbar I think. At any rate, I sort of raced through the blog registration process, including the selection of a title. Rather than thinking things through, I sort of randomly selected "Blog Me" after briefly considering "Blog This." A high school friend, Texas Belch, had a very early (1994ish), pre-internet pornography site called "The Website of Suck" that I greatly admired. I thought Blog Me was along the lines of Belcher's thinking, and that it would do until I came up with something better.

I finally discovered "The Burned out Remnants of an Undigested Culture" in the pages of Atlas Shrugged, a phrase uttered by Hank Rearden in the midst of his factory riot. I'm hardly an advocate of the godless, laissez-faire, secular humanism advocated by Rand, but I sure don't like the looters and moochers that always seem to be kicking around Washington.

Anyhow, there's my new title.

If they mated 54

Rob Zombie

+

Mitt Romney

=

Vincent Price

"Top-Notch Musical Group"

I recently received the following communication pertaining to the organization of a charity event in a small Wyoming town via LinkedIn. It reads, in part,

"I'm looking for someone who has ties to a top notch musical group or person. Someone like Kurt Bestor."

A follow-up communication clarified that the organizers were "looking for someone fairly famous" to sing Wind Beneath my Wings at the event.

Respondents to the solicitation suggested the following,

"John Canaan. He's awesome! I don't know if you know him but he's from SLC and has done several CD's"

"Bill Brimley- son of actor Wilford Brimley is a member of a group"

"My sister-in-law Jenny Jordan Frogley"

and, finally "The Bar-J Wranglers"

My point here is not to belittle the cancer fundraiser that the people of this Wyoming town are putting together. Nor is it my intent to mock the well-meaning people who made suggestions. This is clearly a good cause.

I'd rather like to shed light on the concept of fame in the Intermountain LDS community. I've heard of Kurt Bestor, but I couldn't name one of his songs. I've also heard of Wilford Brimley, but is being the son of the diabetes guy make you famous? Would a cancer survivor be thrilled to hear a bluegrass version of Wind Beneath My Wings from someone who sprang from the loins of the Quaker Oats dude? As for the rest of the bunch, I've never heard of them.

I hope that this benefit raises a bunch of money for people with cancer, but I don't understand how fame is created amongst Intermountain Mormons. Does having a CD in the Deseret Book catalog make you famous? Why do people consume this stuff? The resources that are invested in LDS-themed products could be used in so many other ways. Why are LDS-themed products so popular?!

A Bad Day for Ol' Roy

Allow me to direct your attention to a sad story about an older couple who were killed by a pack of wild dogs near their Georgia home. The woman was attacked first, and her husband soon followed to see where she had gone off too. The whole scene was discovered by some Jehovah's Witnesses on their way to visit someone in the neighborhood.

This is a sad tale, and it is not my intention to make light of this tragic situation. There was one bizarre detail included in the story that I feel the need to point out. A person in the neighborhood was apparently feeding some of the dogs before moving away. Slightly more than 1/2 through the article, the following paragraph appears.

The owner, Howard Thaxton, had moved out some months earlier because of health and financial problems but had someone drive him every other day to leave food for the dogs, said GBI Special Agent Christopher Bish. Several empty 40-pound bags of Ol' Roy dog food were strewn about the property Tuesday.

What the heck? This is a very bizarre detail to include. Why in the world would a reporter include the brand of dog food the dogs were eating?

I decided to investigate the matter, and I believe I have discovered what is going on here. Meet Ol' Roy.

The original Ol' Roy was apparently the beloved dog of Sam Walton, and Ol' Roy dog food, manufactured and sold by WalMart, is named after him.

A quick internet search will reveal many criticisms by the kind of people who would spit on a homeless person but treat the mangiest flea-bitten mutt to a prime rib dinner. In the perverse world of "animal lovers," feeding your dog Ol' Roy is apparently considered abuse, as it is thought to have "no nutritional value."

CNN reporter Mr. Jim Kavanagh capilized on the tragic deaths of two people by taking the opportunity to put WalMart and the kind of people who would dare feed their dogs a corn-based product down a few pegs by associating them with a pack of animals that kill people. Big Sam and his minions are no pushovers Mr. Kavanagh. Keep your eyes on the mail for the cease and desist order.

Dan Rather is a Whiner Baby

Wahh! Americans used to think that reporters were important!

Wahh! Now only reporters think that reporters are important!

Wahh! Me and my bosses tried to keep Bush from being re-elected!

Wahh! My bosses scapegoated me and I took the fall!

Wahh! Even though I was 200 years old, I could have kept reading the news until I turned to dust like Larry King!

Wahh! Not fair, give me my 70 million dollars!

Get over yourself Ron Burgundy! Nobody cares who reads the news any more. You may think you're trying to save some kind of non-existent legacy, but really you're just making us dislike you more and more.