Yesterday, I retired to the first floor restroom of the Anthropology Building at ASU to utilize the facilities. Upon entering the room, I noted one other person at one of two urinals. I took my position at the second urinal and proceeded to relieve myself. At this point, the individual next to me finished up and headed towards the sink. This is where it gets strange...
This guy places the very extreme portion of the fingertips of one of his hands on the very edge of the paper towel dispenser handle and pulls down on it about six times, leaving a sheet of paper towels hanging down to the floor. He then heads over to the sink, and begins vigorously scrubbing his hands. At this point, I complete my business and head to the sink to wash up. Thirty seconds later, this Newman is still scrubbing away, showing no sign of slowing down. Meanwhile, I have completed my hand washing, but cannot dry my hands, because the sole paper towel dispenser has several feet of paper towel hanging from it.
More time passes, every finger is being individually scrubbed.
By now, it has been at least one minute, possibly a minute and a half. I am still pretending to be washing my hands. OCD guy finally finishes, and heads over to retrieve his paper towel sheaf.
But oh no, I am not yet permitted to wash my hands. Each finger is individually dried, but my new friend does not vacate the paper towel station. The remains of the paper towel horde are then wadded up and taken in one hand by the guy, who then used to lever a second ream of paper towels to the floor. He walks over to the garbage can, retrieves his second paper towel fest, and then dries his hands a second time, this time using the wadded-up towels to open the bathroom door.
After leveraging his foot to keep the door open, he leans over to the trash can, throws away his towel-wad, and then bolts out the door to points unknown.
The entire operation took around 3 minutes, most of which were spent by myself pretending to wash my hands.
Labels: Tales of Yore
The Tobacco Industry
Prostitutes
Sheriff Bill 
Queen Ann
The Hannity
Carl Rove
Dick Morris
James Carville
