An Open Letter to Mitt Romney

Well Mitt, I recently read your piece in the New York Times about the auto industry.  It made so much sense Mitt!  Why would anyone try anything different.  The auto industry has mismanaged itself into the ground, becoming bloated and refusing to innovate.  Why should the government bail-out the industry so it can continue on it's destructive course?  A crisis in the industry is the only thing that will prompt change.

Thumbs up to you too Mitt!

Why, oh why couldn't you be president?  Oh wait, now I remember, it's because conservative Christians would rather see the country in the toilet than put a Mormon in the White House, but Mitt, maybe things can change.  Maybe you can still fix the country like you would fix a broken corporation.  

As Sloane Peterson said in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "Mr. Romney... Mitt... you're a beautiful man.  I want to thank you for your warmth and compassion."  

Before I conclude, Mitt, I've just got to ask about the name thing.  As a politician, I can see why you'd not want to go with your given name of Willard, but I wonder why you wouldn't go with Will over a piece of baseball equipment?

And Tagg?  Were you a fan of American Gladiators in the old days?  Next up, The Eliminator, where our contenders will face off against Tagg, the Titan of Industry.

At any rate, keep on plugging away my main Mitt.  Shine on you crazy diamond!