An Open Letter to the Women of the LDS Church

Dear Sisters,

NEWS FLASH! Somebody has figured out that you're the ones buying everything from Deseret Book, and a new volume has been written by an LDS author especially for you!

Deseret Book describes the book as follows:

“Behind every good man is a good woman,” the old saying goes. How can a wife help her husband grow and progress and be a priesthood leader in the home without criticizing, nagging, or making him feel like he’s not measuring up?

As a result of some wide reading, pondering, and research, John Bytheway attempts to answer that question in this book. With his trademark humor and unique insights, the author shares experiences from his own marriage, practical counsel from several marriage experts, and inspired statements from Church leaders.

Simple tools such as “praising betimes with sharpness” and “making requests with an exit strategy” will bless marriages and help husbands and wives fulfill their roles as they try to lead their families in the latter days.

Please also check out this companion volume, which I know you'll be equally excited about.

“Behind every good man is a good woman,” the old saying goes. How can a husband help his wife grow and progress and be a righteous mother in Zion without criticizing, dominating, or making her feel like she’s not measuring up?

As a result of some wide reading, pondering, and research, John Bytheway attempts to answer that question in this book. With his trademark humor and unique insights, the author shares experiences from his own marriage, practical counsel from several marriage experts, and inspired statements from Church leaders.

Simple tools such as “praising betimes with sharpness” and “making requests with an exit strategy” will bless marriages and help husbands and wives fulfill their roles as they try to lead their families in the latter days.

Well, as you may have guessed, one of these books was made up by me and my old pal Photoshop. I bet you can guess which of these books you will never, ever see on the shelves of Desert Book. Can you imagine the vibe in Relief Society on the Sunday after this book hit the shelves? "Your husband did NOT buy that thing!? You are a wonderful, strong woman, and I don't know where he gets off thinking that he needs to change you." Yet, for some reason, a book about how women can help men to be better is totally ok.

I'm not blaming you, sisters, even though as the consumers of this type of product, you create the demand for such things. The fault lies with a subset of men in the Church. These are the guys who feel the need to get up repeatedly in fast and testimony meeting and blather on endlessly about how they would be nothing without their wives and that they are just some schlubby schmuck who can barely keep the Spirit with them long enough to call on somebody to say the prayer at dinner time. You maintain the false dichotomy that women are somehow inherently more righteous then men. Show me a prophetic statement to this end, it doesn't exist, although, the prophets have said that women are more predisposed to nurturing and compassionate service then men. THIS KIND OF CRAP IS YOUR FAULT DUDES. I place the blame squarely on your shoulders. You can love your wife without putting yourself and men in general down.

Married women and men can best assist one another by maintaining a high standard of personal righteousness and self-esteem, and by doing everything they can to keep the Spirit in the home. The Spirit will handle this stuff if it's present. You don't need an insulting book to tell you how to do this, the prophets have already done so. So ladies, here's a tip. Instead of reading this trash, open the scriptures or the Ensign and increase your own level of obedience and self-esteem. Allowing your husband to see you reading this garbage is passive aggressive sexual politics, and you might as well just outright ask the guy to hit the computer and work on his pornography collection.

Bytheway, this book is insulting and unessecary.